So…I ( and heavens only knows why) decided to join a dating site (that shall remain nameless)
Now, many of you may be asking why I did this as I so explicitly said in my previous blog entry that I was not going to pursue men…I actually have no idea why I did it. It is a rather pointless act and the responses that I have gotten have been less than desirable…
Maybe it was done for a bit of an ego boost, maybe I did it out of curiosity or maybe its just that I would very much like to know if all men are the same or if it is just me that attracts the head cases.
Well, let me just state for the record that not all the responses that I have gotten have been all bad. There seem to be some genuinely nice guys out there (all be it 1 in every 100 mails that I get) But they are out there. I have started chatting to a few of them, to suss things out and to figure out just how one goes about “meeting” someone from a site like this.
I mean, I have read all the success stories of people who have actually found love in this way and I wonder if that is actually the case. Is it? Does it happen?
I don’t know…time will tell I guess. One of the guys that send me a mail outright told me that he is looking for nothing more than friends with benefits and, I quote, “I seem to be sufficient”. Seriously? DELETE!
Then you get the obvious smooth talkers that know exactly what to say. To those guys: I used to date you, I know that those nice words and perfectly thought out lines are exactly that: Perfectly thought out lines that are designed to get girls all giggly and hopelessly smitten.
Not going to work!
Maybe I am too sceptical. Maybe I have been “hardened” to people who are actually just trying to find exactly what I am trying to find.
I am going to give this a go for a month. Just to see what happens. Go on a few dates, chat to a few of the guys and then see.
I am not saying that I am going to find prince charming, because at this point with majority of the mails that I have gotten I have become even more despondent that I was before!
Barring the few guys that I have actually made the effort to speak to (I think there are about 4 out of 130 thus far since joining 3 days ago)
So let the experiment begin! I have no misgivings about this whole endevour. I have seen enough mails that have kind of made me look at my screen and go, “WTF?!?!? Seriously?” I mean…dear Mr Sexy_Surgeon69: I have no interest in conversing with a man who, firstly has THAT as an online name and secondly: You are old enough to be my father! I may be mature for my age…but I am not going to actively seek out someone close to retirement.
Also, guys: When you send a lady a message, who you do not know at all, please avoid the following as this gives away what you really want:
“Damn girl you are so sexy!” aka: All I want from you is sex
“Wanna chat?” Correct grammar is important people! Along with spelling! I do not “wanna” chat to someone who types like a 16 year old teenage girl. Its not on.
Also, as soon as you say anything along the lines of, “I’m just looking for fun/ I just came out of a relationship and don’t want any strings” etc that is an immediate no no for me! Because I am not just looking for a little bit of fun or no-strings. I have had all of that and would actually like someone willing to commit to me. No games. And if you are still playing games at 45 then you will never stop playing games.
Maybe I make a few new friends out of this whole thing, maybe something more lasting, or maybe this whole experience actually shows me that the guys I know are not that bad!
There is someone…and I actually know him (like in person), that is a pretty awesome guy. But alas, I fear he does not have the same feelings for me. But he is an example of a great guy and I will be very jealous of the girl that gets him one day.
There are men out there that will treat their girls like gold. I have met some of them and I am sure there are more out there somewhere. But they are few and far between and becoming less and less…If I have to look at another one of my couple friends and see how incredibly shit their relationships are and how unhappy they are…I don’t know. I can’t handle that.
I just want happiness. Someone to spend Sunday afternoons with. Maybe I find him this year, maybe only next year…or maybe even after a few years. I just don’t want to give up hope and become completely jaded. I have seen good men. And I believe that mine is out there being all charming and shit:)